Your guide to activities and fun things to do with your preschoolers, toddlers and kids in San Diego, CA

I personally believe that my daughter has one of the best pediatricians around so I was thrilled when she agreed to a guest post on a topic she knows well. You'll be thankful there is a pediatrician here in San Diego who educates mamas and their daughters.

Dr. de Freitas is passionate about teaching parents about health education. She was first exposed to the topic when her own daughter was about to go through the health class in fifth grade. As she volunteered, and was quickly recruited, she realized how much information our children were missing that needed to start at home. For the past 15 years she has been teaching groups of mothers and their young daughters (ages 9-12) about puberty, birth and conception. Dr. de Freitas has authored many booklets, a book and lately has launched My First Period Kit & DVD ^tm

For more information please visit Dr. de Freitas' web site at: www.healthychats.com and www.myfirstperiodkit.com. When not teaching seminars on the weekends you can find Dr. de Freitas at her private pediatric practice located at: Carmel Valley Pediatrics, 12395 El Camino Real Ste. 315, San Diego, CA, 92130.

The Birds and the Bees with Ease^tm!
by Dr. Chrystal de Freitas

It's "the talk" many of us never had, yet most of us, as parents, will have to give.  The topic of sexuality is a topic that often provokes uneasiness, especially when it comes to discussing it with our children.  Questions arise: When do I first broach the subject?  What should my five-year-old know?  How much information is too much?  Should I wait until he or she expresses an interest?  These are normal concerns for parents.
Here's a primer on how to tackle the questions with your children.

When should I start talking to my child about sex?
The earlier you start, the easier it will be. Remember that children don't have the same perspective as we adults. Many children have a natural curiosity by age 4 or 5. So when speaking to young children all you have to present are the facts, leaving behind the pleasures and the risks associated with sex. These will come later as you build upon a foundation of knowledge. This really simplifies the process.

How much should I say? Will I overwhelm my child with too much information?
At each age, there is basic information about human sexuality that a child should understand and comprehend. Therefore, a review of guidelines for age-appropriate information should be useful.

By age five, most children should have some basic concepts about the following topics. They should:

• Know the correct name for their body parts, including genitals.
• Understand the simple basics about where babies come from; that is, from the mother's womb or uterus.
• Be aware of the concept of personal privacy while dressing or using the bathroom. In particular, five-year-olds should understand the difference between "secret" and "private."
• Be comfortable talking with parents or a trusted adult about the subject of sex. 
• Have good self-esteem concerning their female or male identity.

As your child gets older, other basic information can be added according to his or her level of development. Youngsters between the ages of six to nine should know about the facts of life in simple terms as you continue to review the basics noted above regarding privacy and safety.
By ages six to nine, most children should have some basic concepts about the following topics. They should know:

• Where do babies come from?
• How do they get out?
• How do they get in? (What is SEX?!)

If you are waiting for the right moment to initiate the topic or for your child to ask questions, beware that neither one may come up anytime soon. Many young children can sense a parent's reluctance, or may not know what to ask about this nebulous topic. Therefore, use natural every day opportunities to initiate the conversation with your youngster. These are known as "teachable moments". For example, seeing a pregnant friend or a family pet having offspring are perfect opportunities to review where babies come from. It is always best to begin this conversation by asking a child what he or she knows about the topic. This way you can also clarify misconceptions, expand information or confirm your child's knowledge on the subject.

Remember, like most subjects, children learn in incremental steps. Not all the information needs to be given at once. In other words, there is no such thing as a one-time talk. Parents should be prepared to share tidbits of information along with sound values as children grow and are challenged by our sexaully explicit society.

Speaking to young children about sex is simpler than you might think. When kids are young, it is a wonderful time to convery that you are available and willing to talk to them about this sensitive yet vital aspect of human life. You can set the foundation now by providing them with age-appropriate information and building upon it as they enter their pre-teen years.

Your values, moral and the ways in which you convey aspects of family life are paramount in setting the grounds for healthy sexuality. Take time to have these healthy chats with your child. 

[photo credit: SXC]